Friday, July 21, 2006


There are many measures of a man. If you want to know how I go around judging whether someone's going to be my friend, my enemy or not worth the effort I'll tell you. It all comes down to the men's room. I'm not worried about peeking over the dividers or inside stalls, oh no. It's in the paper towels. A confident, self-assured man with sensibilities knows that the allotted length of one towel is enough to get the job done. Maybe I'll let two slide for the nose blow but anyone who goes for more than two, globs the water off and throws away his big stack is disgusting. The most I've ever seen? Six! Yes six. I pity the poor girl who gets stuck with that one.

I returned from europe to find that my favorite restaurant has installed an "environmentally friendly" blow dryer, but I can assure you that my environment of Alphas and confidants with be decidedly less friendly.

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