Thursday, July 27, 2006

I've been living in a time warp. Blogs the way I remember them are dead. Two years ago it was new enough that people had so many fresh ideas to throw around. And no one was sick of listening to eachother and to themselves quite yet. Almost all the bloggers who I read when this thing started are gone. Lost in the rest of their lives and that's fine. The magic of life two years ago was something special. And maybe tonight, if I close my eyes tight enough I can walk backwards for just a few seconds.

"Meaning isn't something people like us fall into," she said, abandoning her smile to assure me she was serious. "We're going to have to create it for ourselves." She looked to the stars up in the night sky and I knew that she wasn't searching for something bigger looking down on us. Where I saw salvation and hope she could only find a big empty space but I never held it against her. The day blown by so fast that I half-expected the stars move double-time across the sky.

"Stop thinking so hard, you're making me tired."

It's not my fault. I'm just minding my own business and these big things just creep up on me and jump in my head when I'm not looking.

"Don't act like you're all lost," she said, but I knew she loved the uncertainty of it all. The rush of any fight that might come our way.

I told her I wasn't lost, I was distracted. And I was. And I am. And I might always be.


Anonymous db said...

sometimes i wonder if blogs were ever the way i remember them.

2:51 PM  

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