Friday, January 06, 2006

Dear Ladies of 2005,
I don't know how to go about saying this nicely so lets just put it up front: what the fuck? I know you're all a little crazy because of the media and stereotypes and sexism and hormones and your very nature but usually, even through all that, you manage to get to me and put everything in perspective. It's that little sparkle in your eye and by the end I'm usually floored and awe struck and I don't know exactly how you dropped the ball in 05 but you did and I just wanted you to know it.

Sure 04 was a hell of a year and it's hard to compete with that real, fresh off the boat, big city love. I know I work in a sorority but that has never scared you off in the past and plus you know it just makes me better and making you happy because I get how your minds work. I know I live with two girls but they're harmless and insanely frustrating and the combination of the worst parts of you and I need the rest of you to help me escape.

You blew me off in LA when I worked at one of the girliest magazines and even after my trips to Santa Monica, to the Playboy Mansion, to all the hotspots and to the sandy beaches all I found were phonies, hookers and strippers.

Add all that together and here I am, definitely not alone but still empty. I'm rarely scared to be alone so finding myself in this situation is all the more frightening. I blame you, ladies of 05. I blame you for letting a big one slip through your fingers.

Dear Ladies of 2006,
Yes I know it's been too long since I've cut my hair and I'll cut it for you if you want me to. But only if you promise to bring the glimmer back. The one that makes me smile. The one that makes me want to kiss you when you smile. The one that gets me out of bed to battle the early morning cold. The one that keeps me up late at night with candles and words on the screen or printed on a page or written in a notebook. The one that makes me remember what kind if man I want to be.

Be 16 again. Be happy. Be in the moment. Be willing to take a chance. Be willing to look me in the eye. Be ready to throw it all back in my face. It's all up to you. And in the inspirational words of my father, "don't fuck it up."

2 Comments:

Blogger Mo said...

amen. that it all

12:07 AM  
Blogger JP said...

good one...sounds like the first step towards...amazing...btw...what happened to the second pic...

3:52 PM  

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