Monday, December 12, 2005

Whoever talks the loudest wins the arguments these days. It's not about what you say it's how few breaths you need to take while you're saying it. It's how many other voices you can drown out when you unleash your own. One giant never-ending stream of words in a circular breathing cluster fuck of perpetuity. I'm not sure if anyone even appreciates silence anymore. The welcomed release it brings, not just when we lay our heads down to rest but in the morning as the sun rises to the east and reflects off my neighbor's newly-painted white wall and into my bedroom. The silence of a pause to feel. Feel the rise and fall of her chest on mine. Feel it even when there's no one else in the room.

Girls go through a cycle every month and guys think they're immune but I, for one, know better. Mine's a little more annual, maybe it's some lunar calendar shit, but there's always a time when it just feels write to leave most things unsaid. It comes two steps after the huge burst of positive energy and one step after general malice towards the world. And it comes just before the most profound moment. And the less you speak, the more receptive people are to really listen when it's time and my mouth is finally ready to open again.

But I won't scream. I'll take my time. Reason isn't shouted. It isn't all squinty-eyed or smirky or overpowering. It's calm. It's quiet. It's collected. It's so smooth and effortless it makes you smile and wonder how we all made it this far on raised voices and wagging fingers.


Blogger eric said...

the cycle you speak of is exactly the way i see it work.

i think it might have something to do with getting caught into the positive and becoming complacent with it, sucking too much from it.

then it's time for a reset.


9:39 PM  

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