Monday, October 10, 2005

A part of this blog is where ideas goes to die. The bleed out my fingertips and onto the keyboard but I read them back and they just don't give me that tingly sensation. I'd imagine that when a musician finishes a great song it's pretty much the same feeling as reading a great post you've just written multiplied by ten, bounced of the audience and shoved back in your face amplified with screams and claps and boobies. But before that song makes it to the stage it gets cut and pasted and ripped to shreds and left as a 'draft' on the blogger page for months and months until another idea comes along and locks into it like a threaded nut around a screw. Put enough time into it and suddenly the screws are holding up this awesome tree house and then it's time to pack up your bags and take this little piece of my world on the road.

And that's my segway into this post, a random assortment of jewels buried in posts that I read back but could never bring myself to hit the "Publish Post" button. Don't be surprised if all these ideas resurface again in different forms in the future. And the next time around they're going to have had the proper time to marinate so don't be surprised if the kick knocks you on your ass.

July 2004
"I could probably call someone. But the phone doesn't ring. And I should get up. I should get up and get out and make a change. Make a change in myself. Make a change for someone else. Or maybe I shouldn't be impatient. Maybe I just need to relax. Cause maybe the change will just come if I let it. Sometimes you can't rush big changes like that. All changes happen in a moment. But maybe they just take a while to manifest themselves. For the change to trickle down your whole life."

August 2004
"And of all the people in so-cal to strike a chord with me, how was it a girl who I thought had so lost her way? But she had a way of making me remember that it's OK to make mistakes. She reminded me of my mistakes. Mistakes that at the time felt like the entire world to me. And now seem completely meaningless. And she told me to open my fucking eyes. Cause there's a big world that's not gonna stand still and wait for you to give it the go ahead. And maybe she helped me remember that the decisions we make are really half-chance. She told me to look at my fucking self. And I felt self-conscious. But she said, 'Remember you?'"

October 2004
"So I keep living to work at holding onto her. When all I really need to do is let go. It's time to let go. It's ok when everyone's a stranger. I'll fight the flow. . I do. I will. Hello, I love you, goodbye. Get out of my life."

January 2005
"1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
started a blog.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Last Year's resolution: Doggystyle. Mission accomplished. For 2005: Learn how to Kite-surf"

January 2005
"someday I want a message board devoted solely to the subject of me. Someday I want an ipod and a cell phone and a PDA and a digital camera all in one. Someday I want this blog to get 100 hits. Someday I want to give a million dollars to a charity. Someday I want to write a book. But not yet. Oh no friends, not yet."

May 2005
"Everything anyone has ever told you about LA is true. Celebrities roam the boardwalks and the streets while paparazzi follow in close pursuit. The weather is always warm enough for shorts but never too hot for pants. People are beautiful and all of them want to be actors. They'll give you their headshots if you ask them. The traffic definitely makes people go crazy and gun eachother down. And everyone is always watching you. "

September 2005
"If I could give one piece of advice to every single college kid in the United States today, it would be this: Put your fucking hats on straight."


Blogger Mo said...

damn, if thats the kinda stuff you left on the cutting room floor, i cant wait to see what you got for us in the future.

3:44 PM  

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