Friday, April 01, 2005

I don't think it would be completely unreasonable to ask every girls a simple question before we have sex: Rough or gentle?

Because not only do I want to know what I'm in for but I also don't want them to be disappointed. Sometimes a girl wants to feel special and loved and treated like a lady. And sometimes she just wants a fuck. I can pull off both of them pretty well but not if I don't know what I'm supposed to be shooting for. Maybe I need to hand out a little pre-sex questionnaire. I don't' want to kiss you all sweetly when you want to be bitten.

Just like everything else girls in my life rise up and down liek the waves. Right now the biters and the kissers are all coming for me. They're calling on the phone and they're texting and they're showing up at my door and worst of all they're all doing it at the exact same time. And then they want to know why I'm not paying attention to them. It's cuz I've got a cold and I'm in bed and I'm getting ready to come out of sports retirement for 2 days just to claim my $1000 scholarship before I slip back into anonymity.

The sorority girls have designs to throw all us guys a surprise party next week. I don't think they realize there are 6 of us and 80 of them. Add booze and don't tell us in advance then we aren't going to get many other guys over there. And there are going to be a bunch of sorority girls stumbling over this fantasy guy I've created. Every girl loves a fantasy. Even the one with the working boy with a devilish smile and a little bit of an attitude. I think the point here is, I may need to bring more than one of my pre-sex questionnaires.

3 Comments:

Blogger dbhayes said...

damn. i missed you.

9:19 PM  
Blogger Mo said...

i hear you can get those questionnaires printed from dave chappele or something.

5:13 PM  
Blogger Sylkk said...

I need to be fucked ...maybe it's the spring weather bringing it out

3:27 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home