Monday, August 16, 2004

You know what? Vh1 nailed it. There really is no place I would rather be this summer than on the cast of Ocean's 12. Who wouldn't? It's called party time, Europe style. Late nights on the boat with Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Julia Roberts, and I guess Catherine Zeta-Jones could tag along too. We'd be tooling around Europe. Clooney's Italina Villa? Check. Wakeboarding? Check. Backflips off a $20 mil yacht? Check. Feeling like the born again Brat Pack? Check. I was inspired by their European shenanigans. I decided I know a lot of shit. I know a lot of shit and have more common sense that most of you out there. No offense, it's just the truth. I just have a ridiculous amount of common sense. But I don't have that worldly knowledge. I don't know what it's like to walk through the Italian piatza or to surf the Chilean breaks or to Ride a Japanese bullet train or walk through the ruins of a Nazi Concentration camp in Germany. I love where I'm from but sometimes you have to leave home to realize you have he right house.

The unfortunate part of my common sense is it comes packaged with the same crap that most western males are plagued with: ADD. Most guys in this culture just cant' sit down and focus on an intricate task for too long. Girls, no sweat. If you're from another culture, say if you're asian, you have a much higher chance of being able to concentrate. So here I am with my ADD, can't keep my head in the present and I'm already deciding that next summer I want to travel. Great, I want to travel but I get kicked out my apartment in 2 days and I'm not sure where I'm living. That's my curse. Inability to live at all in the present. It's impossible. That's how I keep myself focused. That's how I keep myself safe. By thinking way into the future. I see myself next summer. I see myself at 40. I see myself at 60. But right here right now? There's a "be back in 5 minutes" sign. And you can stand in front of this store all day but no one is ever gonna come.

It feels like school all of the sudden. There's people everywhere. Kids. Girls. Young girls. Blonde ones. The kind who look just a second too long into your face as you pass them by. I could be worrying a lot. I could be a little freshet out. But really I'll save my freaking out for bigger problems. I'm tired and I'm undersexed. But I guess that's what happens when you get west nile and then decide that a girl 2000 miles away is maybe worth it. Even if you're worried that maybe there are no sparks. Even if she sends you a DVD of Conan from Italy to make up for the fact that she couldn't get you tickets. Even if she asks you not to open it until she comes to visit because she promises that she will come soon. Even if you know that you're just counting down the days until you fuck it all up and she never wants to talk to you again. But I'll stay undersexed. I will, I promise. I wonder if I'll ever be good at writing about anything other than myself? Damn I am a self-centered bastard. Well, we'll talk about me more soon, that I promise.

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