Friday, August 27, 2004

A conversation with an elder

I'm not sure I've found what I'm looking for.

You're not supposed to. Not now at least.

Will I never be satisfied?

Perhaps, but men seeking something bigger than themselves are rarely content.

What about buddah?

What about him?

Didn't he find answers to the greatest questions in contentedness itself? In just being?

Perhaps. But I get the feeling that his path is not yours.

I'm afraid I might slip. I'm going to need a do-over.

You have an infinite number of chances.

But I heard that "the only second chance in life is the chance to make the same mistake twice."

Who told you this?

A movie.

You are stuck because of how you see your life.

How do I see it?

You see it as a straight line.

I've heard this "circle of life" bulshit from a movie as well.

Circles are simple and beautiful objects, no doubt, but life is more complex than a circle.

Than how do you see it?

An etch a sketch.


It's a continual line. Leaving a trail that swirls and overlaps shadow's and retraces lines laid down before it.

But you never can see where the etchasketch dot is going.

A true artists sees his painting on a blank canvas.

Well I can't shake my life up and start fresh whever I choose.

Must we really go there too?

Does it always have to be this way?

This is the way it has been for thousands of years.

But it hurts sometimes.

That's just to remind you that it's all real.

there's a hole in me, how do I fill it? how did u fill it? With time? With love? With Beliefs?

come closer.


It's not about believing or living or loving or waiting. It's not about what you have done or seen...

But the...


You are what makes it ok.

When you are in my shoes.

It's about laughing at the rediculousness of it all.

It's watching everyone do the same shit over again.

And realizing there is one damn thing you, me or anyone else can do about it.


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