Sunday, August 15, 2004

The Comeback Kid Comes Back

I was happy. I was free. You couldn't touch me. Fish factory is Alaska? You can't touch me. Leave all my friends behind? You can't touch me. Give up all the years of hard work? You can't touch me. Step it up to compete against the best in the world? You can't touch me. Make it all look oh so easy? You can't touch me. No one had the balls to do this. No one else was willing be scared for a moment. To really take a chance and walk-away from everything they knew.

I was on top of the world looking down. I was unphasable. And who was there is the entire world who could bring me crashing back down? Who out there thought they could knock me down a few pegs? I never saw him but I knew he was there. Always lurking in the corner of my eye. Waiting for that moment of weakness. That moment of self-doubt. I could hear him. You don't belong here. Why are you wasting your life away? This will never satisfy you. Who the fuck did he think he was. Was he my conscience? Was he just a incarnation of the pressure that got put on me? By my family? By my friends? By society? By myself? Slowly he crept creeping. He slithered his way into my subconscious. My dreams started to change. No longer about medals and glory. My smile started to fade. You Can't touch me. No... wait... he did. Every time I stared in the mirror he was breaking me down. He made me feel inadequate. You're bigger than this. You're bigger than what you can do here.

By the time my season had ended I could take it no more. So I packed up my bags and left. I came here, I met with the right people and I locked down a spot at the magazine. My life was changing. I don't know what I saw on the horizon but suddenly it I was looking in a totally new direction. Maybe The Hyphen wants to think it was because he kept calling me a "slacker dropout" that I made a decision. But really it was that same bastard who ruined everything at the start. I t was his fault in the first. It was his fault I left that prestigious college where I was making it look easy. It's his fault I ended up at a shittier school to follow some stupid notion of a dream. It's his fault I left altogether. It's his fault I haven't stayed in one place for 4 years running. And now it's his fault that next week is going to be my last week at the Super Cool Magazine. And that the following monday I'm somehow a student once again.

The comeback kid comes back. Back to where he started. Back from far away. Back from the depths of his heart and his soul and back to everything that made him who he was before it all started. The comeback kid comes back and you can't touch him motherfuckers. You can't touch him.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree - the hyphen sucks.

3:24 PM  

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