Monday, July 19, 2004

I used to write a journal. Cause all good writers are supposed to keep journals. It doesn't even matter what you write about so long as you are writing. And I would love to write in my journal and come back to read it a few months later. But then this fucking blog came along. And I stopped writing in my journal. Cause there are only so many hours a day and I think it would be completely impossible to write both a journal and a blog and go to work and get some exercise and try to have any type of social life that would provide things to write about. So I stopped writing in my journal. Cause I thought the blog could be my new journal. And really I don't hold much back when I'm writing to you all. I try to be real and frank and honest and funny and quirky and everything that made my journal fun for me to read. But really, there is a certain line I can't cross in my blog. A line where ideas and info that is important to me and might make me laugh would simply bore you to death. I want to write about this last week. I want to write down evety detail so I don't forget. But you don't really care. Or I hope you don't. If you do then it's time for a new hobby. And I guess that means today I need to write a journal entry. Which means less bloggy bloggy for u.

I had to leave my apartment. Cause even though I changed the sheets, the bed still smells like her. And when I turned over I would expect her to be there. And it made me feel really alone. Like painfully alone. But that's what happens when you follow your heart around. I spent the last 4 years in 4 totally different places. And I love that. I have a philosophy about my life. And it's brilliant. All I have to do is think back to a year ago. Imagine myself going back there and telling my 1-year-ago self where I am now. What I'm doing. Where I have been. And I'm doing well if he thinks I'm completely full of shit. I'm doing well if he doesn't believe an ounce of what I tell him and doesn't see any way to get from where he is to where I am now. And especially no way to do it in only 1 year. He wouldn't beleive the places I had been this year or my job at the super cool magazine or spending a week with the G2K or any of it. Why is that my philosophy? Because it shows infinite potential to grow and change and adapt. It shows infinite potential to follow my heart. And most importantly, it means that anything is possible. Really anything. Because there's no telling where I will be a year from now. I might be famous. I might be on mars. I might be a bum on a street corner begging you for change. It's limitless.

But right now I'm at the old fort. And I'm trying to catch up on last week. Cause I think I fell asleep and dreamed the entire week away. And I woke up yesterday to find the earth was still turning. I found that Tyler didn't have the will to finish the tour. Cause he fell and then his dog died and his heart must hurt as much as his lower back. And that Kobe is back in the old hood. And that John Kerry tried to kitesurf but there wasn't enough wind. But he tried. Which alone is reason enough for me to vote for him. And really I don't care about anything else. The rest of it really doesn't matter.

And what the fuck is wrong with you people? you can't just come here everyday and not comment on my life. That's what the comments are for. I don't want this to just be completely one-sided. Make fun or me. Tell me I am a genius. Explain to me why I am wrong on so many levels. Tell me how my life is like your life. Just say something. Validate me bitches. Or don't. I saw Napolean Dynamite and I robot this past week. I'll review them for u sometime.




2 Comments:

Blogger colderwater said...

Look, you write a good blog. brilliant in fact. i tell The Hyphen that all time. but don't come in here and try to cajole me into posting comments. i was already going to at some point anyway and now you've forced my hand. and i'm not super thrilled about it because this comment is going to end up shading me in a light i don't really want to be shaded by. i'm gonna come off as an ass, but i guess i'll just have to live with that. the point is, keep up the good work and i'll try to start commenting more - maybe others will as well. the G2K thing sucks a little bit, but i'll be god damned if it isn't one of the best stories i've heard in a long time. certainly the best blog post i've ever read. i wish my life was that interesting. sucky as it may be for you now. so yeah, keep it up - don't let The Man (be it TMG, The Hyphen, the actual Man) or anybody else keep you down. Your greater blogging public is counting on you.

2:37 AM  
Blogger Mortaine said...

Hey, that's my photo of my journal!

Weird how one finds stuff while reading the server logs!

Not going to comment on the content of your blog, just to point out that, if you end up writing your blog more than in a personal journal, perhaps that's just the kind of person you are. I could never keep a private diary until I made it all public for the world to read.

5:49 PM  

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