Saturday, July 03, 2004

Bitch Please. It's the 4th of July weekend and you aren't going to find me on the blogogog. And I know there were spelling mistakes in the posts. There are always spelling mistakes. Because my life has lots of mistakes. If you can't figure out what I was trying to say then you're not going to understand what the fuck is going down on the truth blog anyway. But I think I left off in NYC. Well, on Friday I called up Tony P. cause he is always talking about how he is the best pilot in the xbi and I knew that my only hope was for him to pick me up in 'chopper one'. Why? Cause I had gone all the way to NYC but I realized I had to get back for the huge 4th of July high-roller plans back where I used to live. Well Tony wasn't really happy to get my call since I've barely even talked to the guy and I've never met him and he mumbled something about girls and a baseball game and fireworks but he said not to worry about it, just wait outside. I told the G2K goodbye and that I would see her when she came to visit in 10 days. I stepped outside and 'chopper two' was hovering there waiting for me. Fuck. I didn't sign up for this chopper two bullshit. But the pilot-he said his codename was Ned- assured me that he knew what he was doing and that I would be home in a snap. What a shitty flight. But At least I got there in time to pack my bags and get outta town.

Things started to get ill Saturday night in Vail when I reunited with Mac and when the G2K started shitting on Spiderman via text message. After a pre-4th fireworks show drunk girls called us sugar. They were nice southern belles and one whispered into my ear, "come make out with us back in our room" and then gave me a nice earwax cleaning with her tongue. There were 4 girls and 2 of us. bitchplease. You gotta be at least of drinking age before I will make out with you and your 'crew'. We peaced and met up with my blood relative Tuck+1 (The +1 being his new girlfriend) at which point they proceeded to disgust me with ridiculous and gratuitous groping, grabbing and kissing. yeech.

So if you're 20something you need to spend a 4th of July in this town. Whether you roll bling bling -which we did 2 nights in a row- or whether you wanna feel like a local boy(which we also did) I guarantee there is way more fun to be had than I can explain here. If you can handle the standing room only. It's all about maintaining composure. I failed miserably. Bars closed, I have a 15 minute drive home and I'm still not in the right state of mind. What to do until my mind returned? Fate stepped in. "hi." Don't know where she came from but I was walking alone on the street. "lets play a trick on my friends, pretend like you know me from college, OK?" Wonderful. Guess she doesn't want her friends to think she is a skank when I open the door after the knock in the morning. I played along. Nothing like a drunk charade. They cracked the facade about 30 minutes later, just as I was sober enough to hot the road and leave them in the dust.

I Recovered from Saturday night at Mac's and rallied early to see the 4th parade I jumped on my bike for a quick ride up the mountain to pass the time until the two of us bounced to hang out by the pool at our local hangout. Scouts honor kids, scouts honor. Best part about rocking it Bachelor Gulch style is it's out of cell range. No one can distract you. 2 hours later it was time to check into the hotel room and the crew arrived. Tuck+1 was still around, The Hyphen+1 arrived, fresh from a 14er summit, Mac and Big Mac, a new recruit called Duke and later, of course, the Almighty Quinn made a guest appearance. Dinner, drinking, the real deal fireworks and back to the clubs. Old friends and fresh faces make for a night of fun. 6 text messages in a row. "shit is getting ill on my phone." Yes I said that. No, I am not proud. drink drink drink, kiss kiss kiss and all of the sudden the night is over. Who was that girl? Who knows. How we all found places to sleep in that hotel room is beyond me. But this morning I woke wearing my proud stale-beer, smoke-smelling, perfume-laced hangover badge with pride in recognition of my valiant effort last night.

Fuck. Blogging about more than one day just ruins things.

Tomorrow: Rocking your ass sensitive style.
Unless you are into The Reverse Cowgirl Position. Gotta try everything once.


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