Thursday, June 03, 2004

One day someone is going to figure out the equation. When that day comes, life as we know it won't be the same. You see, there are patterns in the way we act. All patterns have equations so there MUST be an all-seeing equation for life. Above, bush was attempting to extrapolate this equation when steam started to shoot from his ears and the top of his head. Ya, it is probably a sin to steal pictures off of someone else's blog but I'm soo sorry, Tony, it is just too damn hillarious and I think as many people should see it as possible.He is our president for christ sake. Anyways, back to equations and patterns. I realized today when I had once again fallen into my patterns. I was sitting there editing an article at the Supper Cool Magazine by P.J. O'Rourke. Now first of all, a writer like PJ has no need to be edited, so all I was really doing was just enjoying the non-political piece. Second, don't think that telling you the author's name is any indication of what the Super Cool Magazine is because, trust me, it's not.

Anyhow, there I was, passively working as it hit me. I always thought "a ton of bricks" was a stupid simile, but as I sat there I was wishing that maybe a ton of brick really would hit me and free me from what is going down. Then you all could write me sympathy notes, send flowers and come visit me by my bedside. I would also have an excuse for not working out like I am anyways. I was thinking about last night, when M, my new roomie (ex of TMG) and I hit the whiskey and then the mini-golf course. We look so similar that people just assumed we were brother out for a game of sibling rivalry (rather than two flaming homosexuals or two guys who couldn't even find a date for mini-golf). He proceeded to tell me about his 6 months in another country last year and how, after dating for 2 years, he returned stateside when the TMG unexpectedly cut him loose nearly six months ago. "don't make any plans around girls" he reassured me. (Obviously I hadn't or I wouldn't be living with him as we speak). I also seemed to recall the TMG saying that she hadn't had anyone besides me in her bed in at least 6 months.
IT was happening again.
I am the rebound guy.

She hadn't been with anyone since she broke it off with M. I have been down this path before and it is not a fun one to stumble. In fact, this is very not fun. So the TMG and me...well...she's out of town for 10 days. But after that I think we might have come and gone. Wait. She might have come and gone but I definitely never came. Which reminds me, a note to the ladies: yes we love to play with you and, yes, dry humping is always better than nothing but trust me, it doesn't do for us what it does for you. We kind of do it as a necessary step. Please throw us a fricking bone and give us a little help. You don't understand the pain. Yikes, Maybe a little too graphic. Oh well, if I lose the TMG and all of you at least I have LL. She understands me and my bad ways.
Desperately waiting until we can put this shit behind and chat about real stuff...What? This is better than the real stuff? You're sick.


Blogger tony said...

that pic is a classic.

i hope people make a poster of it.

feel free to "steal" it.

it says 10,000 words

1:28 PM  

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