Tuesday, June 15, 2004

I need to talk about something before I talk about pudding. How about Saddam Hussein? Why the hell won't bush just let him go? If he ends up in Iraq the odds are he'll get slaughtered anyways. But no, he wants "guarantees." Well I'll tell you what Mr. Bush, I want some guarantees as well. I want a guarantee that I'll have the social security I'm paying for every month. I want a guarantee that my friend JG won't have to go fight somewhere in the middle east when he gets out of the Naval Academy. I want a guarantee that my kids will be able to get a good education without me shelling out $30 g's for a private school. Guarantees shmarantees.

If you have ever spent the time to read the header of my blog, you will know that I have no official association with the truth. What I write is what I write, believe or disbelieve. But sometimes things happen in my life that I really wouldn't expevt you to believe. They're just too funny or absurd to be true. But they are. So when I put these down, I want you to know it's legit. I'll tell you so. So scouts honor, this next one is legitimate. Well as legitimate as you can be when discussion pudding.

Ya, Pudding. I don't really eat pudding, I don't really like pudding. And I certianly rarely discuss pudding. But when I was IMing The Hyphen last night and we were discussing what to do about the TMG, he said he was going to get some pudding. Yum, pudding sounds delicious, I thought. I told him I wished I had some pudding. He said call up the TMG and ask her if she had some pudding. I thought that was stupid. But then I pondered, what if I asked her if she had ever made pudding. You know, to lighten the mood? She clearly wouldn't expect it. I would catch her off guard. She would smile, maybe laugh, then we could get into the good/shitty stuff. Brilliant! You see, sometimes breaking those ingrained patterns of where people think a conversation is going can change their mood at take in a whole new direction. I called. She wasn't there. I left a message. I didn't say anything about pudding.

She called me back an hour later as I was driving to the grocery store. There was small talk. Then I asked, Have you ever made pudding? I smiled thinking how she would answer. What happened next I didn't expect. "what? ya, I am making pudding as we speak. I haven't made it in at least six months. are you outside my window or something?" I was mortified. What the fuck? Great. She is making pudding. Is this a sign? No, now she thinks I am a stalker. The first time we spoke over the phone in 2 weeks and she thinks I am outside her window? Wonderful. I got to the store. I assured her over and over I didn't see her making pudding. It was a total coincidence. She seemed skeptical. I told her I would call her after I got home. There was still much to talk about. Couldn't let the pudding confuse the issues. I got home. I called, she didn't answer. I left another message. She never called back. The Hyphen seems to think the pudding is a sign. A sign? I don't even like pudding.


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