Sunday, June 13, 2004

I know a lot of people who have been waiting patiently for today. There were calendars marked, web timers set and risque magazines poised. The Olsen Twins are finally fair game to the millions of single, 18+ men accross the US (and i suppose you Eurotrash as well). New personally I think they could use to put on a couple pounds and drop the tude but hey, if that's your thing more power to you. I think in this picture here they're a little younger and not looking gauntly.

Does MTV add to the degredation of society? I'm watching the movie awards right now. In case you have been living outside the influence of your television set or my Blog, LL is the host. She is still only 17. Viacom isn't even trying to mask the fact that they are targeting prepubescent, video phone toting, brace faced suburbanite children. That's fine. Let the kids crack the the media pressures early. That way I'll be able to control them for the rest of their life. I will be the media mogul.

Last night I worked for the hip catering company once again. I have two unique abilities that allow me to hrive in that business. First, an uncanny amount of common sense. Honestly, that's what gets me places in any business. Everyone needs common sense for things to run smooth. I'm amazed at how stupid and unable to solve simple problems most of you are. Second to my wits is my ability to weild my smile for uncanny periods of time (Say a 12 hour shift). Luckily I'm nt a snaggle tooth and my smile doesn't scare small children. It took this catering company 2 days to realize this. The boss pulled me aside, "You obviously know your way around. Next week, you're captaining a party. And you definitely have a rockstar name" I wish I could tell you my name, but I can't. Trust me though, it will be hard to live up to the precident my name sets. How long did I work for these guys? 2 days motherfuckers. 2 days.

TMG gets back today. Apparently the Almighty Quinn is a bit deeper into her than I originally thought. (despite the fact that he hooked it up with someone else after we went out last thurs and is going on 2 dates this week). Quinn and I have an interesting past of shared girls. Did I tell you the last one we both dated turned out to be a lesbian? Ya, I think I did. Just reaffirming. I decided the TMG is just not worth it. Eventually I would have to deal with the AQ, her ex M and the fact that girl is gonna dump me. I'd crack for sure. I already have cracked. Plus, now the G2K wants to come out here and visit me. Scary. Especially becuase I haven't seen her in so long. What if she got ugly and fat? I'm Superficial? Hello! I'm a guy. I Also met a great girl at work. Being the completely uncoordinated guy I am, when she told me she was a dancer I explained how I couldn't dance but wanted some Usher moves. She invited me to her place sometime for some "dance lessons." I think I'm going to take her up on it. I think she might be a little weirded out when I actually want to learn to dance but I do!

I have wasted away all of Sunday. On the schedule for the week:
Waste Away Monday and Tuesday
Break someone's heart
make a new friend
learn to dance
finish my book
learn how to cook something mexican
reunite with distraught family members
rock out with my cock out
revert to introvert
sing out loud in my car
blog like it's my special purpose

This is the life kids, this is the life.


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